Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in alexzandriaebostic's LiveJournal:

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Friday, February 5th, 2010
12:27 am	arts & crafts. shitty attempts at making a swastika. :3 (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010
5:26 am	lululul BOLD THE TRUTH. I’ve never given a blow job. I’ve never had protected sex. I've never fingered another person. I’ve never had anal sex. I’ve never been out of my home country. I've never been to Disney World. I’ve never kissed a stranger on the lips. I’ve never read a book over 800 pages. I’ve never painted a picture on a canvas. I've never sung on stage in front of a large audience. I've never eaten out a girl. I've never seen another girl completely naked (besides tv + family + porn) I've never had braces. I've never learned German. I’ve never watched legit porn. I’ve never masturbated in front of someone. I’ve never had a fight with my dad. I’ve never updated my myspace status through my phone. I’ve never had my myspace deleted for being underaged. I’ve never used Nair. I’ve never cut my wrists. I’ve never wanted plastic surgery. I’ve never eaten goat meat. I’ve never eaten horse meat. I’ve never drank goat’s milk. I’ve never drank organic regular milk. I’ve never kissed another girl. I've never had a girlfriend. I’ve never learned Chinese. I’ve never blown up a balloon. I've never changed a baby's diaper. I’ve never lost my phone for good. I've never lost a friend through death. I’ve never met one of my grandparents. I’ve never met someone with my exact name. I’ve never put on eyeliner for myself. I've never dated someone with red hair. I’ve never used a tampon larger than regular. I've never taken a dance class. I’ve never tried weed. I’ve never tried other drugs. I've never cooked for my family. I’ve never had anything besides my ears pierced. I’ve never had a tattoo. I’ve never gone to the beach to tan. I’ve never kissed anyone on the lips that was younger than me. I’ve never dumped someone. I’ve never stepped in something nasty barefooted. I’ve never waxed anything (besides eyebrows) on my body. I've never cheated on someone. I’ve never dyed my whole head a different color. I’ve never kissed anyone that was above the age of seventeen. I’ve never kissed in the rain. I've never mixed alcohol together. I’ve never shot a gun at an animal. I’ve never gone a day without laughing. I've never been held back a grade. I’ve never been hit on by a girl in person. I’ve never eaten my boogers in public. I've never stolen anything over twenty dollars. I've never had sex in school. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 12th, 2010
9:17 pm	wow. i just pissed myself from laughing. "I'm normally too hardcore for most people" hey, shut up (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, January 11th, 2010
12:41 am	oh boy and this is what she sang its not like i am a slut or that i really like to fuck i just want every boy i see to walk away with part of me until there is nothing left to hold until there's nothing left to hate i appreciate your help but even you cant save me from myself. her space holiday at almost 3 in the morning soothes (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 7th, 2010
7:35 pm	the west bound nation I stand, lost in my own room. Glancing at perceptions, now so vivid on my wall. Sitting on a swing set, wading in the water. pulsating. differentiating between streams, of consciousness. irrelevance only a step down and away. peeping; speaking; through a content, contemplative socket.  They say out west, There is no such thing as making a first impression. People who stare and have no ambition. In Utah, preconditions and warnings are not as lucid. These stretched fabrications heal no wounded soulless souvenir. Stressed morals give up to delusion. Making deranged allusions of better life. Bearing the optical senses to reach out When in manifestation, do you see the point. When you have gone to long a journey. when you see yourself for the second time. do you still look the same. exactly i cant even remember the feeling i had writing that last one i tried to show what physical beauty i was going through but how demon-ted it was at the same time the happiness from it is a twisted phase like a demon ripping salvation or redemption in half in front of your face   my whole being was like "here, take this promise." its so hard to explain what i'm trying to say the whole swing set in water, was like my body was shaking very slowly. like if tried to swing through water, how the water would kind of pull you under and slow you down like, at the height of the swing, being stopped and someone holding the back of the swing and lowering you down and as you are being lifted down from the swing, into the water. the waves are pulsating like, you can feel your body separating from its self and then becoming one again every other second while in the water and its suffocating  when you think back on those days, your father swinging you at the park. thats the happiness that is associated with it. i don't know if this is true or not. but its how i like to see it. (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 3rd, 2010
11:57 pm	lulz teddybearsz<3 (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 2nd, 2010
5:52 pm	I keep remembering what salvation really is. I can steal this moment and make it last so much longer. Do you hate yourself when it's over? Is this what it's like when I'm over. cure my shakes. soothe my needs. fill my wants. taste my plead. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:26 pm	This is 2010. I have no resolutions. I talked to my mother. I am going to get my GED. Fuck school. I'm going to start looking harder for a job, because my Mother said if I can hold down a full time job once tax incomes are here, she'd make a down payment on a S10 for me! hell yes. So, for the next two years, I am going to work my ass off so I can buy gear to travel with. Also, I'm going to start running. I need to. She writes and scales what is permanent. So, I look and her and I breath. "What I life I live in the winded breeze." I sit on my furniture in my self loathing bit of waste. (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 31st, 2009
4:44 pm	If I were a month, I’d be August If I were a day of the week, I’d be Thursday. If I were a time of day, I'd be 10am. If I were a planet, I'd be Jupiter. If I were a sea animal, Jelly Fish. If I were a direction, North. If I were a piece of furniture, a soft one If I were a historical figure, Abraham Lincoln, then kill myself so the south would win the Civil War. If I were a liquid, I’d be milk. If I were a gemstone, I’d be sapphire. If I were a tree, I’d be a normal tree. If I were a tool, I’d be a you. If I were a flower, I’d be a something not cliche. If I were a kind of weather, I’d be a winter day If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a violin. If I were a color, I’d be pink. If I were an emotion, I'd be lust. If I were a fruit, I’d be a pummelo. If I were a sound, I’d be a little girl laughing/crying/coughing up blood. If I were an element, I’d be SPACE. If I were a car, I’d be a bike If I were a food, I’d be a yez, bonbon. If I were a place, I’d be MOTHER SOVIET RUSSIA. If I were a material, I’d be lace. If I were a taste, I’d be sweet. If I were a scent, I’d be the smell of cotton. If I were an object, I'd be cute cosplay. If I were a body part, I'd be a hip bone If I were a facial expression, smile. If I were a song, I’d be i don tknow. If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be kaleb's combat boots. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 30th, 2009
5:57 pm	where did your shame go? down your mouth? ha, people like to report me on facebook for being a bitch. could i report her for taking what was the only thing i cared about? i doubt it. sometimes i wish i could separate myself. "It's the happy parts I have trouble letting go of." (Comment on this)
Monday, December 28th, 2009
8:36 pm	your bathroom wallpaper isn't important and the last bit of hot water is never hot. I've decided that I am getting my GED so when I get a job I can work full time. save up for car/bike/books/traveln' gear. I know what I want in life. After I turn 18, I never want a job again.,,, because everything in life is free. things i need to buy: - pocket knife - army sized backpack - fold-able fishing pole - Into the Wild - White Fang and Call of the Wild - Road bike parts - add more later sad scale she writes what is permanent. the feeling of unnerving yourself for a day of play. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:30 am	The people I meet. The things I do. I had this idea, or problem, about finding happiness and knowing what it is. everyday. i meet people,,that change me. that take me one more step to finding happiness. My weekend was great. Casper, my new traveln' friend, is a great person. We had fun. I hope that I find her again. Maybe when I started hitching rides. Right up to Kansas, you know. People say I forgive too easily. That I forget too much. I am early pioneers of an innocent redemption. mercy without grace. what do you know of purity? nothing. "Forgetting all past mistakes. Just let it go." I don't want to live in any sort of hate. with grudges. that won't make me happy. Healthy honest relationships with the few good people I meet will. "I use not to have any hope for humanity, but then when i started traveln', I saw hope again..." I want to see the world for what it is and not what humans have created it to be. I got a small tattoo on my hand, of a libra scale. It looks awesome. Also, I get to cash 50 dollars on the 1st. I'm thinking about buying a digital camera with it. okay. (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 26th, 2009
12:01 am	haha if i ever see you in person again, you will be on the ground. i want to hit you and spit in your face. you have no clue how much i want to break you apart// ,,how much i want to stomp your teeth in with my boots. you are dirt. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 24th, 2009
5:46 pm	I got my combat boots. marine issued. black. and a of couple dresses. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009
10:27 am	i am happy. for the moment. breath. i want elusive air. forget all those past mistakes. i want elusive air. forgetting all my past mistakes. give me elusive air. inhale elusive air. i am a placebo for счастье (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
2:26 pm	image heavy ( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. ) (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009
3:56 pm	http://irrationaldelusion.wordpress.com/ new site. okay. (Comment on this)
Friday, November 27th, 2009
12:28 pm	old habits die so hard and most of the time they never die, heros fade but legions never die. oh dear salvation. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 15th, 2009
6:30 pm	old poetry from 8th grade I've said my good-byes to you and I am certain I can't turn around. What if I do and I run to you but you start laughing at me, too? I can flip my hat and convince myself to believe my lies, while I drink my lemonade with tears streaming from my eyes. I dance with sadness, with feilds of fairies, they call my name; brief. what a momentary pain for such a long life to live. Green smoke and I can barely breath with you. Reveal what is important to me. A letter was written from me to you. Value what you have, for me. If I should go, i hope to see you. Follow me home and yell at me, about the weight of the world. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 14th, 2009
4:03 pm	if i posted weird pictures that i didnt take of in-d stupid things, would i be in-d? and just filled my livejournal with useless things like that? am i indie now.\,,, (2 Comments |Comment on this)